10 Ways to Never Have Sexual Intimacy
Is there anyone who does NOT want true, passionate intimacy in their relationship? Is there anyone who wants to feel less connected, who wants to have less sex, who wants to be less loved? For those who do, here are ten surefire ways to make sure you have NO sexual intimacy in your relationship:
1. Be grumpy and irritable. Whine, mope around, and do your best complaining. Don’t smile, laugh, enjoy anything. Snap back at any comments and always respond with something rude. Complain loud and clear and often. The grumpier you are the better.
2. Criticize your partner. The more you complain about your partner the more your beloved will feel how unworthy he or she is. The goal here is to put down your partner, make them feel worthless, make them feel they do not measure up to others. Make sure you do not utter any compliments or express kindness and care.
3. Be your most unattractive self. Do not take care of your body. If you are dirty, sloppy, have greasy hair, and smell really bad chances are pretty good you won’t be having much romance any time soon.
4. Don’t be attentive to your partner. Do not show any interest. Ignore your partner. Stay really busy with work or hobbies. Attend to neighbors, activities, or anything so long as you are not attending to your beloved.
5. Compare your partner to some fantasy ideal. This is important. The way to make your partner feel really bad is to remind him or her how much they do not fulfill your fantasies. Let your partner know that she or he does not have the right body, does not make enough money, or does not come close to the “wonderfulness” of some other fabulous person.
6. Don’t be playful, lighthearted, or enjoyable. Laughter, sexy teasing, and flirting are out of the question. Remember, the more fun you are the more likely your partner will be attracted to you so make sure you are miserable to be around and absolutely no fun whatsoever.
7. Don’t be helpful, or do any nice little things to show you care. If you show you care then your partner may feel appreciation and start expressing love and gratitude. Doing kind and loving acts will bring you closer to one another so do what you can to be thoughtless and inconsiderate.
8. Make sure your bedroom is a complete mess. Make sure the TV is blasting, laptop is on the nightstand to resume a project, a cell phone is near by to take some calls, and your blackberry is handy, in case you need something. The more distractions the more your partner will know you are not really wanting sexual intimacy but just needing a moment or two of their time for sex.
9. Keep your environment free from romance and serenity. Under no circumstances have romantic music playing, candles burning, lovely smells, or anything that may stimulate feelings of care or intimacy. The more your home environment is free from anything that brings peace and joy to your home, the better.
10. Under no circumstances express and show love. Do not let your partner know how much you love her or him. Do not remind yourself of all the great qualities of your partner. Do not reflect on the good things, the good times, the good memories. Do not speak of your love, do not express your love, do not show your love. Keep it hidden. Keep your love a secret, and if you can forget about it great.